Funk

I see everything today, all the minuscule details. I woke up in a funk today, for the uninitiated it's the state of mind where you're zoning out every few minutes to your own world. A world full of fantasy, dark desire and primal urges. Two bottles of summer pale ale don't wake me up anymore, neither do the ultra light nicotine sticks. Nothing brings me back to the stark and razor sharp reality and I'm afraid I love it too much. I want to write, I have a feeling I have so much to give to me. I only write for me, to douse that fire lurking beneath. If I don't swat these nest of flies buzzing around I cannot move ahead. Speaking of ahead I don't think any of us have an idea of where this train is taking us, I think we lay down the tracks when there is nowhere to go, we keep making it up and then straight into a hospital or a grave or a pile of burning wood. Some lucky ones are cognitively functional enough to say a few words and touch the loved ones. I suddenly am losing the train of my thought, these days the sink holes keep coming and I dive in them. I need something beautiful or maybe someone exquisite, where are you? Come find me.

Truthspotting

All the truths walked on valiantly

Marching on the staged fires of time

Watching and dreaming, the lies die

Survivor's guilt ran like a cancer

Through their ancient fragile veins

They took a vow of celibacy 

Left the stage, a path to retreat

Rechristened to cliches, a few

Rest morphed to white lies

Resting on the tip of tongue

In the trenches of black hearts

These bloody desolate words

Sadist in the nature, they relish

Me not able to regurgitate them

She remains an unknown observer

Indifferent to the better man

Truths harbor a strong will

They force you to lie in guise

You will find them though

In a man with a mask

In the smudged letters

In the books with heart

In her dilated pupils

In the vulnerable words

When making love

In the drunken slurs

Truths, our roots of conscience

Immortal, they acquire an arrogance

Scarred, I can't take my eyes off of them

Elusive, I can't catch them

Lurking they are, look around

Eternal cliches of our emotions.

Always

Immerse yourself in my intoxication and while you are drinking me drop by drop, open yourself a little. An acquired taste, an unsettling experience, that familiar feeling of you stumbling upon a dark truth and your heart being swallowed whole.  Is that as per your expectations?

 

I hope not when one like me has practiced enough and spent their entire life belittling themselves to morph into an undercurrent. Let me stay latent in your veins and remember we tried our best. Years will pass as per their purpose and we will thrive on this road towards home. Do not waste a single breath looking for that connection because I'm here.

 

Always.