He hates you all

People with their non stop chatter
Talking bout things which dont matter
Do they ever stop and realize the truth
That all the talks are nothing but mirage
One day it will end the same way
Beneath the dirt or atop a fiery bed

All this laughter makes me ponder again
Am I living it wrong? No smile to gain
Why do I feel like a stranger with them
When will the smile reach the eye brim
Tragic they claim is the word for me
And I say isn't the world just a sad tree
Where the fruits rot and break you inside
The spark is missing in the dark side

Faces however beautiful seem all ugly
Where is this hate coming from in me
I question and my mind laughs the sadist
But that thing it cries deep inside the chest
It reminds me the way I was at a time
When laughs flew and sweeter was chime
I will not fall into this trap again I promise
The devils on the shoulder gently kiss
This is the rabbit hole, one can't escape
I need salvation, save me in the cave.

This bottle in my hand is a true friend
She never leaves me and stays till end
Those books which entice me so much
I smell the pages which make my crutch
Oh the stories they seem so lively and real
Then a sudden jolt to jaw, back from veil
There is this monster inside me clawing
To make him happy I feed him my feeling

This unrealistic happiness is not for me
Have forgotten the times when I felt free
The secrets are out in the pandora box
No one has the key, there is no lock
Only a ray of light creeps from inside
Eyes habitual of dark cannot yet decide
Fighting with your own mind so weary
Survive says the box in chest so teary

Eyes don't shut as needles prick the mind
All this hate consuming him like a wine
Bolted are the doors leading to salvation
Train has long said goodbye to station
Situations arose behind the closed door
Even the trusted eyes could not decipher
One day it will help him disintegrate
Back to the dust he was, a drop of nothing.

Girl in the Yellow Jacket

Today when I sit with the mountains
Sipping my cold as her heart beer
I remember the yellow jacket
Which wore the girl like a smile
The smile which always got the better of me
Now the reality my rival mocks me
She thinks too much of love let me down
I question what else should I have sown
If not the seeds of eternity together
A woman's mind I failed to understand
Soul created below robert plant said
Could not agree more my eyes read

That yellow jacket was the most loved
as the last drop of illusion I dread
Why did it happen to me I screamed
3000 days of summer dropped dead
This never ending highway luring me
To undergo a journey unknown
Finding peace in chaos the mind
Almost been a month since the ice froze
Still girl in yellow jacket could not close

Then you go to the parties with mood up
Knowing that the smiles they flash
They mean nothing but plain crass
Their long stares I see as sympathy
Ignorance I feign to this atrocity
Few souls who touched you
In this swarm of known strangers
But they too have changed a lot
Embarrassed they seem for you
Their faces hide the urge to flee
Its all in the eyes for drunk mind to see

That girl in yellow jacket doesn't leave
One track mind and liver on a spree
Yes you find souls who can understand
But the stomped heart now cowers
As it fears that they also might leave soon
Bruised ego fights the easily trusting heart
the long talks which have much subtext
Heart wants to open up and pent it out
Still the words they just wont come out
Do the new souls laugh and take fun of you
So much uncertainty and full of doubts

The next morning I wait for the sound
Greetings say the cruel cold light
Should I call or not is the dilemma
Rise above the dire times the song says
Images of past on loop plays
Presence of screeching silence so loud
Lonely mind in room of stranger crowd
Pathetic hope soars at a message
Next moment it remembers the wreckage
If its a fool's errand I keep doing it
How to stop is not a question seem fit

And then you take the drops of potion
Thinking things will get set to motion
Soul with the spirit of autumn comes
Its another season and it will too leave
Filling them up with your whole heart
All the while hoping it heals your part
Mistake or not this mind will never know
Trust the heart which could not be owned
Free will oh it has played the joke on me
Receiving end of this old rotten tree
Like the song which always on loop
And is out of mind when the record broke

It's the day when I'm roaming in her city
Empty chairs we used to fill seem to pity
This boy needs no sympathy, an answer
Why the yellow jacket made him suffer
The places they seem to mock the irony
We have seen all this so nevermind honey
That floral pattern which changed hands
Another girl has it now, my heart lands
Again and again I fail to understand
Why yellow jacket could not make amends

As I leave the road behind me I glance back
I have to chance a look that she is there
No we cannot be strangers such is our bond
I feel ashamed that I will fall for the con
One call to my name and I will be no wise
I have always been a child in man's body
Past, present, future look so much foggy
This chapter will always be missing pages
Cannot swing forward its been ages
I wish that you can't see my troubled mind
Smiling you maybe wherever in peace
That yellow jacket oh so special to me
I hope against hope to let it return to me.