Cannot Say Much

Whenever you roam around me
When I cannot say half the things
I want to silently sing
All those words hanging aimless
Can you pluck them out of me?

I wish you could just see
The way I used to be
Before we walked to talk
At your door, about to knock
Will you open or not?

Do I make you laugh
Nervous giggle, lips parted half
I talk unbounded to avoid
The eyes that make my head light
Is it apathy or sympathy, O mystique!

Feel free to let go and leave
My hope does not let me believe
I sense a blossoming hive
You pretend it's not there, I see it ripe
Don't be afraid of the sight.

No place for the weak hearted
This fire we started not easy to douse
Chemicals we breathe in this house
They make you swoon in my arms
Still not mine, wait is the call, no harm.

Clocks testing my unflinching interest
I hear the sharp melody beneath
It stays in the air and just breathes
Then our hands meet and souls part
Riding on the dreaded yet desired love cart.

Brain Ooze III

Sometimes all we are is a mythical assumption of other's mind, situations when all we are is some conjured up image in their mind. A figment of their limited imagination.A self generated work of a mind in vacuum for so long that it starts a train of thoughts with no end in sight.

His bucket maybe brimming up with so much assured love yet her's could be a glass of fear that it could be love after all.All we see is what we are, all we want to believe is we are special, all we want is that minuscule tick of attention from that special being.

We want to fly high and then we withhold our flight to swim deep, there lies our comfort in peace of a chaotic soul.Pleasure in mistakes, embarrassment in our achievements, rebellious in our caged desires, love in lust or lust in love, are we forever bemused.

This perpetual limbo of confusion takes birth from our very originating trait of curiosity.
For everything, for each new experience that demolishes a withstanding notion binding us mentally as a stagnant water drop on the surface of a puddle.

This implies equally of how we think of people surrounding us. For each of them we have a dictionary of adjectives, words that are as hollow as they sound when compared to their true nature.

Man is judgmental instinctively, many could disagree with me and then think 'wow what an arrogant prick full of pretentious thoughts'. Again slight judgement without getting to the bottom of the lake. So one just cannot fight this fight. Not even me.

So confusion precedes judgement, to conceal our inability to understand someone or something we tend to slide down the rope that seems most friendly.Another compartment that confusion opens up in our brilliant mind is fear. High and mighty have fallen from grace in clout of this unhinged door. Afraid of the unknown, fear of the palpable truth, of delusions and allusions.

Greatest fear these days is of failure to be a great memory for others. For this, one puts in their soul and body in line to achieve something so superficial that regret never seeps in until it's too late. You never did anything to be memorable for you.

Another fear that hangs heavy on our mind is losing the people we never owned in the first place. We fear death to take them away from us, we grow close only to retreat sometimes thinking that if the other loses interest we might not be able to protect our naked emotions. We never give them a chance sometimes to show us that they mean eternal sunshine.

Fear and confusion amalgamate and give rise to a totally new monster named self doubt. If you were to ask me who is the undisputed champion in carrying a baggage of flooding self deprecating thoughts, I would give you my name. To battle all that raging switch of on and off self belief, a true backup is needed.

Unflinching, uncompromising, accountable state of mind which knows when to imbibe and when to divulge is required. Hands are always there to hold onto, only the mind needs to develop enough trust to make the unbreakable vow to none but ourselves.

I have always believed life to be a cycle of birth and rebirths within ourselves. With each passing moment we are getting to realize that when it comes to the big blueprint of our life's map, the minute, almost negligible things have never mattered.

A personal revolution to kill all that is holding us back, to kill all the alien concepts that make us not who we are but what society wants us to be, to recognize our mettle, is mandatory.

SMILES!! :) :x :P :D :> :?

Idly sitting on the artless staircase
In a vain attempt to assuage the heartache
The comedian rued the knowledge attained
It's all a running joke, smiles feigned.

A caustic cacophony blaring through his mind
Thinking how not pretending would do him good
Painting a smile on thousands of teary eyed faces
He realized,  no rest to be his from this life of pretense.

Dancing under the influence, elixir of good intentions
His vibrancy only found the minds not capable
Owing no debts to his thoughts, he spoke a lot
Overflow of unbounded, misguided feel led to his fall.

Times change, he needs a hand from a known stranger
Solitude is overrated, he soon learnt, perpetual anger
Motionless pictures blur before a new one forms
Nothing desired anymore, all the shoulders are act of con.

Born to make everyone happy, it's his forte
A tough vocation he chose, returns were always low
Every now & then, a smile changed his somber mood
Cycle ensues, a bowl of niceties, in a form so crude.

Still dreams of a day when the poker face appears
They can ride together on the backs of unicorns
Only if life made things and people so easy
Damp eyes reflect other's smile and his opportunity.

Up Up & Away!

Away from sudden paralytic fear of loss
Away from the burgeoning rejections
Away from the perceived mistakes of mine
Here I run and run fast, to your lap, mother

Wrap your arms around my neck
Swallow me inside your beautiful wreck
I was a mess yesterday, today is different
Your touch relieves me of the burden

The higher I fly the faster will be my fall
Will you break it a little to help me survive
Am I a good man was never the question
A good hearted train runs my station

As I begun the race all I remember is a face
Actions I take melted by the cynic assumptions
I will fight though till the end to win the race
Treat it like a lesson to make my final place

Open roads, away from my thinking monster
Away from my concerns, eating me slowly
Away from the one's I love, strength or weakness?
Believe in, all roads lead to home, away from the roads, in the skies
To make everything right, travelling the height
Shoulder me earth, give me love as I have never felt.

No. Why. ???

Why don't you believe in your trust on me
I'm a child in a man's body
I crawled out of the womb to fly
Each night full of promises unbounded
Morning laced with opportuneness
I fall in love with every smile
I get hurt with every wrong word
I drink the malice and wit of others
Reassured, invincible, not so wise

My life revolves around few of you
All I feel is a sudden peace, so blue
I wonder if there were no rules
Would you all be as good a fools
Stop running they advice, a poor say
No survival without walking away
I have felt absolute nothing,
I have wallowed in self pity
But I never stopped feeling the rain

Age me well but my heart races on
Child inside wants out, he blindfolds
Take him anywhere, good is all around
Soulmates, yes, they are in plural
I would like to believe that riddle
It has the answer, locked in your existence
Why am I here? Am I living right?
Why to shoulder the weight of every sight
Free me, return the love, saint in white.

Unrequited Cloud and Chance of Rain

Like the incomplete message written on white
Like the thoughts that fall short of words
You're in front of me and I stare at the light
In your eyes.

I keep running away from the world that loves me
Invisible are your ropes that bind me
They fetch me from the deepest wells.

The real world is different as they tell me
I float in my dream hanging up your sleeves
I wore my heart on my face before we talked
Now it cowers behind a wall, Afraid of lost walks.

Perplexed beyond recognition is my constant feel
Good and bad, throw it all at me, no unfair deal
I can see hope hiding though it hides well.

I run around, I see the moving eyes, they reflect
Is it pity, is it confusion, is it guilt
All you ever do is use the facade of a stoned face
Is there emptiness?

A melting answer is lying there in the white paper
It seems so heavy, I cannot lift it, can't read it.

One moment of anger, the next smile, a circle
Collect it all, oh the greed for your life
Of being a part of it, to regrow one of your smile
The time is soon I know, and there is no next chance.

Life's wheel we ride to farthest corners
It only stops in the end to let us know gladly
The one's we left behind were who we needed badly.

I'm not a patient man, clocks don't matter though with you
Gaze at the skies together and speak nothing for hours
Lying at the sand so cold, we don't need warmth
Hopes fly around to be stolen, but I save them.

In my mind and heart, Pouring out of your eyes
There is only one way out sometimes, It all withers
Give it up, a short burst of soul emergence it was.

We face a task so tall, have to rescue,run or fall
Only if the clouds turned white, I could see the sight
The feel behind your mask, I see it bursting on the seams
An ocean you hide inside, step out and let me burn with ease.

Sitting on so many false alarms, One of them holds truth
Like these words on white, flow me in, let you out
Maybe nothing comes out of this, shouldn't we try our turn.

Swings Never Stay The Same

Atop the mystical throne, laid bare by the journey

Drenched in the fountain of hope, no place dry

Witness the spectacle, drink the drops, revel the future

Wheel without a base, spine so strong, come what may.

Engraved in the sanity, lies my touch of madness

Aloof from it I'm not whole, I mend with a slow kiss

I want to own this diamond, it is too bright

My eyes melt from her grace, yet the heart fights.

Sounds take shape, they all look so soft, they float

A stream of emerging melody, enchanted the boat

I'm rowing to live, hands join me, some leave

Few I'm afraid to hold on to, few I cannot let go.

See I will be a better failure than a strong vice
In my sky lie no stars, yet my heart burns twice
Why is not too important a question, sometimes
Answers need not be groped, please listen, I sing them.

Rhythmic walks conceal my desires, too earnest
No I don't want to be hanging around, out of my nest
Jester I will play as long as the rain falls
Take care of me as this will be my last role.

Robbed I maybe, assets I adorn snatched
Now the real eyes shine, were they for me or my gifts
Clear as a river it would be, muddy the rudiments
I hope some voices don't fade, I store them in my chest.

Depths unbounded I have partook in, though I know
The ways of the world, maybe this time it will be slow
Parting words I won't be able to utter, not my forte
A touch of wind on hair, carry the scent with me on road.

Far Off Summer!

Summer's now gone, leaving behind none but one, I could hardly count me. 

Crimson rage dipped veins bursting out of a forehead, sickly and tired. 

I stare at the dawn's sun arrogantly, eyes filled up to the brim, with a hopeless gaze to return to normalcy.

I relentlessly fought with my loved one's, or was it a trick to dig up the compounding ignorance. 

All fingers holding me I've reluctantly cut, regrets are few, numbers they hurt. 

Maybe the question remains unanswered. 

Do we forgive before time to appear noble or do we hide the sinner in saint?

The sun smirks up at my audacity, intense maybe the focus, he lets on that he is weak. 

Fact remains that the song of victory is his, sung by the canaries. 

Approaching winter with all it's cold wind and dull lights, 

warmth of the pyre not enough for a broken mind plagued with ineffectual demons.

Run away and hide in a self constructed sanctuary, 

full of paper idols smiling from the walls, hands remain cold, a self inflicted circumstance. 

All the tales into one ear, time comes and that ear goes deaf, 

still listening with half a heart but not able to be rude and blast the truth.

Out there braving the situation, again no one to blame, no regrets. 

A stoic heart can be the most cruel but to swat the fly of love with my ignorance, a scenario unthinkable. Tossing and turning like a shaved stone on river bed, all I've got is what I didn't make.

Pieces all scattered, I will never have the glue to fix my roadblocks. 

No, this time the page doesn't deserve her, this is all me pouring my clouds, 

raining down on the scorching white. 

Summer has left me no remnants, none worth preserving. 

A self fought bout which has no clock and no winner.

Open mind clashes with the closed windows, all laden with chances I see floating bubble like, 

all of them pricked one by one by some unknown entity. 

What is holding the beast, where is the pride, self respect a heavy sword, it kills the mightiest foes.

Summer is far behind, leaves are decorated on my street, 

I don't miss a thing till I go to to the places and my eyes again fill up to the brim. 

A gaze of hope, you wish, none could be conceived.

Hands Of Time & Nothing

The clock hands are running far from us relentlessly. Voyeuristic wall support it with all of her available flesh. We can just watch it out of focus, so blurred, helpless with our hands tied. Wondering how did that one year,that one month,that one day,that one moment happened which changed it all forever.

Breath fogging up the glasses forgot to replenish the warmth in their particles. They behave like the sulken hearted patient who is unable to make you laugh with their unbounded cackle. Raining thoughts but never enough to make a statement of truth in this world of selfish gesture. That moment of reckoning when you dig through one hole and land up miles ahead into another.

The time of unconditional love or is it unrequited, the bemused grey matter is not worthy of such enlightenment. Moments keep passing by staring the strangers, you pick one of them and then let them go again. The clock is a lonely one, I understand her position. I become the clock and my hands force the decisions.

Alas I don't want to live forever because our mortality is the only boon,curiousity with a predefined margin also dies with time. When moving through the wheel of life enough times our soul is reclusive of the hidden facts. It all means nothing, just a broken bridge to mend with bare hands. The gaze of clock is now sharp and the shadow points the sun is going down.

Maybe time allows me a second chance, but I fear it might be a cruel joke, a trojan horse which stabs me in the ankle and makes me mortally weak. Though I pick up the harpoon and throw it in vaccum to catch her, someone already floats with it and tarnishes my name. Bottle has the enigmatic quality to let me forget the time.

A doorknob with no sides, a puppet with infinite strings, a clock without the seconds. Use me as a friend but I will not budge from our path of riding the sunset, besides or with will not matter as the end approaches. As you take it all away and I stumble on the blind alleyway, all I can think is of the hands of the clock which resemble your smile. So understanding and always there but not mine. 

Indian Wood and the Fall

That fresh stench of washed wood, puts the cart of senses in motion
My skin is all heavy, my eyes burn bright with a watery sensation
Lunging out of the pale sky is the air, pushing me to gravity's direction
I take a slow fall, gliding through the thin air, no hands to hold me

That sound of jaw thudding to the floor,her wail fades away
The wind carries her vowels, she vows to devour their pathway
I float in layers of mud, scarlet liquid colors my lifeless hair
Face so soft like a whisper, drama ends, curtains closed in pair

That thumping agitation fueling the chest, her tears just don't rest
They carry me like a splinter in a river, flowing in an incomplete nest
I'm in the forbidden forest, eerie silence dosed with twangy howls
Fields of blue leaves and flowers, they grow on my seeping pool

That feeling of unabashed fright, mind's made up for the blackness
Running from the inevitable truth, yields no circle of clarity
It's time to tend to your sins, face the times of invoked travesty
I face my time with open arms, welcome old friend, drink my fear

That tall pine tree molding my vision, I feel utterly negligible
The sun refuses to come out of its infancy, mist paints her scribble
I can feel her plight of losing me but my fog paves a path of traps
Out of sight lay a plethora of mirage diamonds, a field with no gaps

That arrogance of underlying atmosphere, keeps the sanity caged
Inside a plastic box, it struggles like the cornered tiger, pounce or fail
Words not repeated, they barely come out, life sapping spirit
Eyes stuck out of focus, frozen and defeated, takes the bullet.

The Bus Of Life

The pace of the walk so fast in this unpredictable lane
Sweat beads form a wet necklace on cloth so plain
Holding hands together not an option when the feel is missing
Drunken gaze on the seductive gait ahead, unrequited blessing

Indian summer bestowing it's love upon us like a cruel father
Journey commences moving inside a metal box with peep holes battered
Billboards talk mutely to the audience underplaying their role
All they can manage is a vague smile at the futile pathway up ahead

Roads and alleys keep on moving towards the black hole in fold
Destination attracts the curious man with her siren like wails
Incomplete houses hiding inside a elaborate scheme of false tales
Love streets pass by with Jim's voice crooning to haunt the dark

An absent mind regrets the mistakes pinching like rocky splinters
Defense soldiers take over, for the night is young for recreation
This moment the whole world is an empty barn for me to play in
I glide in my thoughts and slide on the rides to the way home,so far

As Mount Doom gets closer, the ring in my chest expands with mirth
Familiar faces crop in front of my vision, not all of them breed joy in my world
Been led down this road enough to know the potholes and shivering lights
Every time we see each other in the eye, signal a warning we both ignore

Street signs helping the aimless to seek refuge in their knowledge
They say you do not need us child, you have to craft your own road and bridge
The metal box lets out a dying wail, it has no tracks to move forward to
I start the walk alone, the poles accompany me, we dive together into the roads unknown, 

all but one which leads us home.

Brain Ooze I

Death be the cause to free me from the excruciating task of over thinking. Some days the sun doesn't rise as my eyes just are too clouded with apprehensions. Go home and tell your girl about my drunken adventures, make her want me and see me laugh at you getting limp. Don't put your hand inside the beehive as it will spoil the delicate in you, let me be the bad guy here and lend you my shoulder. Why should a nice guy be all white, gray is the new black and it suits me. I'm a difficult friend to hold on to.

These squares I walk in are getting smaller, in this perimeter I found myself getting older, the doors and walls of the room keep shrinking, a half hearted clapsed hand I have to leave coz it belongs to someone else. Though we may laugh and cry together but we are never together. Crooked teeth have their own perfection in smiles that breach the soul. Words come out of our mouth and they mean something different altogether, might be a poem or story which resembles our life. All the good ones are taken, that is the rule of god. A misconstrued one though as nothing is permanent and everything is permitted in this world built on centuries of sins and goods. A battle rages between the doers and those who blabber, never to come near the exhiliration of taking part all the mouths would never beat the master hand performing.

And as my chains begin to loosen up,the ambers so golden floating besides my eyes take control,they wake up the raging monster hidden deep inside the cave, he notices everything and builds up the anger inside, all the small things which the conscious mind does not seem to register are all present and rotting the monster's mind. In a deep rut this one, after you give yourself to the liquid in your brain, that is the moment the mojo rises and that mojo can make or break your relations.

Brain Ooze II

The one's I can never have, stay dormant and become my deepest mind sins waiting to be erupted, my soul is too shredded to be shared. The words I hear float in front of my blurred pupils and they catch fire slowly to fade into dusty emptiness. The last words we spoke yesterday map my dreams to a foreign land where none can enter but our entwined minds. Orange hue painted upon the sky divulging it's own need for a shoulder, mocking us are the silver clouds with no gold lining hanging on winds so colder. Time is transfixed like a bottle of wine, the sand slips through my palms and turns the clock ahead to give birth to droplets. These drops cover us in the bubble of purple haze, tongue tied and twisted but together.

These bells and crosses, the white caps and threads don't mean anything to me. All I can see is desperation for recognition in the eyes of the man in sky. Away from the facade of society which masks the primal in us I live in the middle earth of my own. We love, lust, lie, care, talk and sing for our soul and no barrier is too strong for us once we are free. Obedience to one's conscience a rare found plant in this vast array of sand land. We found the lightness of our actions when we cut the weighty roap of feel involved. Acceptance of the uninvited truth and forged lies hold me stuck in a giant sticky puddle of mud. Inability to act as per our desires against the raging morality is the chains we all cling to till death.

Vacation in Abyss

Night haunted by a strange melody this day, wilderness has it's own mystical way, in a trance my spirit, immovable but dancing, keeps roaming around the dubious road; all the wolves howl and let me know the danger is nearby prancing.

I dove into the abyss not afraid of the depth, life could not worn me down so how could death, floating in the air the giddiness plagues my head, I don't recall what mother said,feathers carry me soflty to the nest.

Mythical creatures consume my unholy mind, the lost little girl with her face I seem to have find,together we create a different wave of currents, hedonism takes over the bubbling wrath of moralist, a maze she wanders in and I'm the escape artist.

In the depths of this wild trench, I create an escapist world, declare myself the lord, a long burning thirst quenched; we both speak in poetry so diabolical, like a woman's mind, the tracks are erased of our journey undertaken, sins we bred are forsaken.

Dunes surrounded by a blue ocean, they cover all the love we dropped, bunch of flowers plucked to make a soul soup, not a love potion, it shows me bursting patterns in loop, clouds ate up the sun for our fun; they give us the dark for lovemaking marathon.

Malicious glint in the red eyes staring us, a web of deceit our world, if ignored not a bliss; saving we do not need, just a strangers hand to hold our head so weary, the herd is wary of my imagination greed, cold and at the same time fiery.

She whispers softly it's time for her to leave,she is not lost anymore, she belongs to someone else, her world has me only as the guilty pleasure to free her spirit, for my mind her heart does not beat; the dream is turning real, I flee and jump into the river of wine so free.

Marching forward to a maddening beat, the abyss presents to me a icy cavern, a frozen lake with a carcass of a boat, the penguins are dugging up a hole in search of watery froth, they snuggle up to me and give me the key, I swallow it down and swim in peace.

Twisted and stoned immaculate are the trees, winds are icy and distant with a plea, wake up from the slumber oh dear mortal, leave the land of ironies and feel so brutal; I do not wish to climb out of the ancient well,where the bells do not toll and souls we do not sell.

Unknowns

Withering away under the melting sun, they cannot hear or breathe the green source of fun, phonetics without any comparison, adjectives sound condescending holding beneath a reason.

Pot belly is a rare commodity, the child a poster boy for natural calamity, this is your god's way to heaven, laughs the mad beggar with squinted eyes, the stairway to the sky is broken.

A glimpse of soul seen through linen, the borrowed rag of cotton, they both showcase the same quality, never could anyone imagine the similarity, nights spent in luck's shelter, bottles in line to be broken, no helter skelter.

The doors to the hut are only half open, kids keep roaming around the lawn frozen, the clothes are not enough for the frail body in motion, fake wine and brandy flow; only the women know as there ego doesn't overblow.

These are the tribes of unknowns, omnipresent they are, only eyes with empathy recognize need of the hour,houses of mud never called home, immeasurable the sweat, hollow bones.

There is no revolt in their blood, all of it spent in getting the kids meat, life a game where rewards are few, conditions favorable is an unreachable avenue,a killing joke hidden in their death, shallow graves on earth.

Lost Tales Of Time

The red ocean of heads crop up, all wondering where the master has gone, never to return the master bluffs, a victory not won but seeds sown, agony flares up the wounded nostrils,without meaning the cheap war thrills.

The king walks alone, towards the molten mountains, hot air felt like a cool breeze,the barren land is a reminder of the future, he intends to turn time on it's head and rule the coveted shire.

Like words of a book the memories, engraved deep but easily forgotten by mortals, an ethereal beauty of a queen, the cackling sound of his newborn, eyes closed he would sacrifice them all, aimless aim is the iron throne.

At home the soldiers bemused, conspired, grieved the master, some could see the empty chair, some would lust the queen, insane are their whims but sin a man must, without sins salvation has no worth.

The despair internalizing into mad pain, swords clash and the bullets fly, only two faces either a friend or enemy, but the thin line keeps blurring, charred the houses in civil war, children scurrying.

Queen always knew herself, a gusty survivor she easily slipped into roles, a chameleon, sex object, royal beauty, doting wife, infidel love was her kind, her heart was a flustered hare, wished the king was here.

Prince saw it all with a meandering curiosity, all he wanted was to see his toys again, mother sobbed inconsolable,a ropeless kite, a man not his father always graced his presence at night, they both made noises prince did not understand.

Journey was unbearable for the king, his ship he had abandoned, a coward he feared the eyes of failure, his throne was all he had, the only one in his head, gazed out of focus the lava shone like a sun, shameless the king took a leap of faith into an endless run.

Patience not a virtue of the rich, the poor soldiers snatched it away, plundered the whole town in lust for prime bay, scarred the souls of the protector gods, why humans they pondered, on their futile plans they weeped.

Queen's lover blinded in love, all he imagined was a happy romp into the sunset, an outlaw by his choice, annihilated the forces of reason, did he not care about the doomed empire, only concern the carnal desire.

Ravaged villages sang the songs of tyranny, saviours were far and few, butchered souls wandering in fits of rage, time stopped to honor the brutality, corpses decorated the welcome ridges, infantry so divided they burned all the resurrection bridges.

Atop the black hill queen stood, near her legs prince threw tantrums galore, that familiar stranger appeared again, coaxed into taking the jump, they would reunite in god's world, King's face flashed, betrayal swimmed in lover's eyes as queen pushed, he never screamed, prince felt relieved.

This tale never saw a fitting end, prince and the queen never returned, the only loser was the innocent town, looted by personal ambitions it vanished from the map, end of the night for a comic tragedy, souls keep wandering though, still searching for reason of madness show.

No rest for the wicked, no courage for the coward, no fidelity for the infidel, no reason for the blind lust, no purity for the innocent, no shock for the conspiracy,no decision final for woman's heart, no end true to a story, no memories baggage free.

Last One

I can see it all hidden in your hasty eyes
The way they conceal the bursting lies
Oh they hold a cave of secrets in a box
The chest you hold dear, such a cunning fox

Your words bemuse me and I get dumb
With face like an unreadable book so numb
The motives are beyond my comprehension
All I know is that charming smile aberration

The clock hands defile my show of patience
Walks we take are of ambiguous distance
The other one took you but you still are here
Want me or not, be cruel and make it clear

I stomped on my heart shaped box dearly
Made peace with you gone away so freely
The attention showered is my self esteem
If none then I conjure up one happy dream

The games we play turning so sinister
Acquired a role which has no limit or barrier
You try to distance the mind away from me
The heart disallows, it knows it has to flee

The good deeds don't matter for free will
The man in sky shouting it so clear & shrill
The night sky has given way to grey clouds
The rain will only fall once seed is ploughed

Words fall short and images float in front
They are fading slowly but remain blunt
Around my head are your invisible hands
I hold them one last time as lost friends

The doors do not remain open eternally
Glass of the windows reflect you finally
Your letters are now far from the reach
White flag now flying, war of love seige

Lying on the floor amongst a sea of drops
This is my last ode to your faded love props
Perhaps a day will dawn when I smile free
Remembering the good times my only plea

Uncontrollably Articulate

A midst a thousand blinking eyes, inside a pair of blind one's. 

They were alright before they saw you so bright.
And I have a thousand friends, they are all in my head. 

They talk about the angel in the sky,whom I cannot see as I don't fly. 

Pick up the white placard and write my name on it. 

Then wave it cutting the air and let it fly like a kite hoping I see it.
The world isn't so loud when you speak in your sleep laced voice,

 the moments also stop awestruck, losing their poise.

And the days are filled with anger due to lack of affection, 

night is the apple of your eyes deciding the carnal motion.
Counting them make the steps heavy so I lose the memory of them,

I focus on the shining light behind the door so pure.

These traps don't lure me anymore, yes they have lost their charm,

I cling to her and suddenly I feel free from all harm.
The music's trying to fight the feelings and is on a losing track, 

but our unstable shoulders support her from entering the black.

The cemetery can never be beautiful, it is a sign of the void we feel, 

when ours are taken away from us and leaves us helpless.
Jim & Kurt they visit me in my dreams and take hold of my conscience, 

I'm the lizard king and the Seattle abortion, 

I can do anything and I lie with a shotgun for penance. 

Time is of utmost importance, once not given it snatches away the obvious, 

the victim then cries till the grave and the criminal prosperous.
The watch is about to burst open and let out all the secrets it has seen,

a silent observer till now, it's aching for the dam to break and a havoc it would create. 

The gods sense my heart is in it no more, they burn one deep into my leg, 

a heart shaped hole to help me out of the web.
Today is the day when the ends meet, a special dance of fate comes to greet, 

forget the night before; full of bright pain, look deep into the brown eyes, start a new reign.

Chronicles of The Love Town

Holed up inside this machine of blood
The village people all killed in the flood
Outside the boundaries, there lay a well
It drank up the wasted tears in its shell

Town has fought with the blazing sun
Priests are traitors, they lust the night's fun
Unrequited love is in the air like lost souls
Smell of misery and sinew along with opium roll

Eagles circle over the impoverished residents
Waiting the looming, ever impending death
The fight is not among the summer and winter
It's the wrath of cupid, a rage unparalleled

Mirror of Erised only shows an ocean of disease
Affects the heart, it devours them piece by piece
None of them saw the ray of lightness of being
All they did was to attach weight, chains cling

A young man with a pristine heart full of love
Oh! Fate had him enter the town on a dove
The arrow poisoned with the rage struck him
Didn't hurt, he felt the feelings come up to brim

Black smokes emanate from the muddy ranches
They block the still sun, the doors stay latched
Hiding inside the meerkats, away from terror
The man jumped gladly into the ring of fire

Years divided into months & weeks & days
Slow poison began the rot in unique ways
The man realized the inevitable, the break of glass
Engulfing him the waves of ache, he tried to hold a flask

Town seeing it all, felt a strange amusement
Stoic it had always feigned, no care or resentment
Witnessing the implosion, this man was different
Floods tried to warn him, nothing he felt

O this is the town of that verb called love
Like all fantasy lore it ends in a grave
A sick croon floats in the grey air of nothingness
Mysterious the sound, it conspires for something fresh

Surviving the battle but losing the war every hour
The man has shed the tag of innocent warrior
No one can fight a decimated soul of dust
Fort will be conquered, black flag at ship mast

Every breath taken slowly fades into the air
The memories imprinted on the canvas of lair
It is time to say hallelujah one last time
Man knows it's time to go, there is no fight

Rains come and wash his ashes fighting the eagles
The winds carry him to the well of tears
Shell accepts the remains, glistening bright
Fading remnants of love, rinsed & dead, flight.

And the still sun shone bright on the rotten carcass
The well got full up-to the brim & flooded the town's brass
A sin took place that day & etched the day into the memory stone
The man came, saw, conquered, lost, died in vain.

Motion of Love & Rain

Snowy winds carrying the desert particles
They cloud my vision and rest on the brow
Trees swaying to the tune and sky so close
Leaves chase each other, grass bends over

Psychedelic is the sound in the air today
Wandering minds, faces that call to play
Until the end this paper will keep burning
I will be alive till the windmills keep churning

Trying to find the moment in the moments
Ignore the signs and kiss her on the lips
Gentle was my touch and the taste sweet
Clouds rejoice and shower us their treat

Spending the hours in the holy embrace
Flowing manes clash and feel out of place
The silver line in the cloud is blinding me
It reminds me of the light in tunnel to see

Our spirits take part in a carnival of glee
The hills nod their heads in a winning spree
The drops on my face trickle down to dry
The dust comforts them as they are too shy

Locomotion of love keeps up on the track
Sometimes it touches the station of lust
Where the mind takes over and hearts break
Go down and the earth beneath us shakes

Time so slow I can feel it running along me
Wild is the air, on this road are you & me
The delusional speech follows the lies chest
Senses all down the drain, a glorious fest

There are no witnesses to testify our trial
The music is eternal like the hell pyre
I don't want the world to go dark and bleak
Until the end we possess the wish we seek

One Wish Not Granted

I wish these were the words which I never wrote but they flow through my hand involuntarily and they guide me inside this ubiquitous ocean of thoughts which emanate through the deepest trench of my mind.

And I wish the warmth of a voice would guide me through this night of loneliness and encompasses over me a blanket to hide from the grotesque thoughts hovering above my grapefruit.

I wish that I could fool the clock by moving its hands fast enough and instill in me a strength to cope up with the fear of forever losing everyone close.

I wish I could hold her hands and nibble around the fingers and spread a love so magnificent that it would outshine the full moon and the gods would command us not to stop till they are asleep.

I wish things were not as they are now, nights spent in a trance, overawed by the circumstances I have felt my knees losing their strength every single moment I stand here alone to wallow in despair.

I wish those books I read would swallow me in and I parlay with my favourite characters and live a life which would have its end decided by a hand moving with so much love on the typewriter.

I wish I could roam around the world without an iota of worry on my mind and construct myself an unwavering path on which I would meet lost souls like me and share my clouded being with them.

I wish she could see me at this hand of clock and whisper gibberish in my ears which would feel like the most profound poetry I would ever hear.

I wish my creators were here to hold me and teach me the myriad ways of the world, they would tell me to make my own luck and take a leap of faith from which there is no way back to sanity.

I wish I would meet that special soul with whom I share my platonic love and the curse of compassion thereby leaving us in a different spiritual and spatial plane all together where no one could disturb us but us.

I wish to die alongside everyone I love and admire, I wish to drink gallons without any restraint, I wish to make love with reckless abandon, I wish to follow my path of hedonism where everything would be permitted, I wish to finally capture love the flighty mistress in all women I meet, I wish to see all that is beautiful in this world but all of them I could have seen in her eyes reading this, that is one wish the genie wouldn't grant me.

Lost Speech for Convocation

This world does not let me fall
All they want is for me to stand tall
Braving alone the dusty winds
Champion built with sweat & grind

No don't expect from my dark heart
Myriad are his ways, never to part
All he wants is the cloud of ecstacy
Burst open and shower me so happy

The trawl captures me, so vicious
Shackled with ways of world, so lush
Expand the horizon of mirth to ends
Rapturous the limitless world it lends

The questions have no answer here
Bohemians meet you and spark flares
Palpable is the joy of heart dancing
Rare are the breed of wolves prancing

The times have come for the change
To drink up the scenery in this lane
Taste the sweetness in air and hope
Sing to break the monotony of soul

The world will use and bitterly throw
Remain cocooned in the fragile dough
Gliding down the rainbow black & white
Bruises are melting and shape is right

Look at this house built of melting walls
It will not change the swaggering walk
Before I disintegrate into nothingness
World I will also take you down the abyss

Reign. Rain. Love. Whiskey. Death.

Waiting for the summer rains
It has been so long in chains
On the lookout for the saviour
Rescue me and go to your lair
This melody so haunting smiles
Pinch the skin to feel the life

Lost on the street of love
He now must pay his dues
All the efforts fly in the sky
Like a kite whose runner dies
Surrender to the game of fate
Gaze her, the lust, don't wait

Pondering over a future unsure
The questions do not halt
Find people who never give up
On you, the balloon of hope
The surging feel of happiness
Notorious to leave one addicted

Grey skies hide the cloud tears
They fall and the roads breathe
Broken shell of fruits scattered
Kissed by the earth flattered
Remind me of a good time once
Take me to that boat of silence

Wilderness consumes the feel
Whiskey bars help them repeal
Till the day eyes can move
Drop of bliss in every groove
Fly to the moon and stars
Swim the path to reach the bar

It's all over and so suddenly
Grief and happiness both meet
Can't resist the bed so discreet
Fate has a place six feets under
So many came and went along
None was special and died wrong

Dry Sands

The sands are dry even though the waves comfort them
They crave for the sun's approval
Sea loves them but to him they remain cruel
Self hatred in abundance inside particles
Consumed in the dark hole, a free fall
Fire was spread long back in the jungle
Every leaf burned and barks they sparkle

Driving on the moonlit highway inside a wooden board, he felt alive
He started bleeding to halt the anguish
Dripping the wheels coagulated, oh the blemish
Howling away in agony was a distant wolf
Then it started snowing in the hot desert
Dreams they go on, commotion and unrest

He tried to pluck the roses, they paid no heed, only thorns stuck
Sand is too slippery, keeps flowing away
Giving a shoulder to the waves in fray
I told them it happens to the best of us
A game of free will it is, where love bests the lust

Holding my hand the poor sand questioned
What is the fault which destroys me
I said no fault, only present in sun's eye
Just let yourself go, the freedom is yours
Without abandonment of rules, freedom is not pure

Now she remains unloved but not desperate
She knows the day will come for rest
The hands which sow the plant keep holding the axe when they grow up
Nobody knows the eternal truth hold up
Journey goes by ending in unconscious state
Sands still remain dry and they still cry
The sun doesn't give up and holds high

Fade in. Fade out.

The shadow of the clock has changed much
And so has the mood of music the crutch
The boy though remains the fragile shell
Walking a road paved with thorns to sell
Walk ahead is destined to be a lonely one
Just watching from far and revel in her sun

A bondage of different kind to wallow in
The words all to swallow and heart so thin
Answers are all floating but not within reach
Dancing the mock emotions for mind siege
Free will and heart never do combine well
I wish I could sing a feeling of being swell

And now he tries practiced apathy on skin
Smile to the mirror till its etched dried line
No he cannot swim in the fake river of hope
His heart feels too much to let go of the rope
A day will dawn when crystal ship arrives
Till that time the sands rue her and cries

Growing up this tree never knew about roots
Just jumped the milsestones to reach moon
Journey he never saw just the breaking point
Stuck now between the veil of love and hate
Now the height attained his biggest enemy
Wonders why the bad and good all to me

The voice continually breaks on the phone
Water was shed from both ends so alone
Days passed and only one side of it remain
Never could he get past the hangover so insane
A deep tunnel dug inside his mind vessel
Piano fades out and only its remnants sail

The Spent Man

No one asked for eternity like immortals
Just a lifetime of ups and downs like stairs
As the love grows dead inside the flower
Forever the regret stays and leaves cower
Wonder the limbs where did control go
Life stuck in a race of boats with no row
Imagining a bridge built with no stones
Only dead feelings and pain are its pillars

A good man he remained till coffin closed
Never did he pray even when way was lost
Belief on his shoulders got heavy to carry
Cruel world just couldn't accept his story
His dark days did not allow him a shadow
Desperate for affection the thirst maddened
Hanging by the brittle shoulders saddened
The search for happiness a one way street
If not found inside then you are devil's feast

Night's silence maligned by the haunting melody
The restless instruments make ride bumpy
The operatic howls of the mind from far
No god or angel could hear from the star
Behind the door lay the route to salvation
Too late for him to find god's lonely station
Skin crawling with a fear so great it folds
None are allowed and can't leave the mould
Peace was shunned long ago from body
To be broken into parts it cries like a baby

Begining like a mellow white flag drama
You do not deserve anything said karma
The man fought gallantly with all his might
Profusely bleeding he promised to be right
He will fly as high as those lightnings dance
The clouds laughed on his one final chance
He called on all of his brothers to unite
They frowned and he waited all the night
Arrows flew and the nails on coffin stuck
Even his own had no part to play in his luck

Cold & Broken Hallelujah

And he woke up suddenly from the vivid dream
Diary he slept on dripping with whiskey creme
Night dawned on him with a mellow pace
Clocks all strapped,hands do not compete in race
In dreamscape the gentle wind comforted him
Out here no lights to guide him towards home

Fragile is the bond between human hearts
Sailor's knot in the rope not worthy of trust
Spiraling down into reality from gaga-land
He realized nothing is true,fantasy shunned
A hand he could hold is no longer there
A man he always tried to be, now doesn't care

Complex her soul a simple face masked
In the dream, like a princess she smiled
He stood far away watching her like a star
Afraid he might wake up so kept losing the war
Like the dark side of the moon never visible
He can't ever have her, his hands tremble

Words now fade away from the pages soaked wet
Oceans from the eye or is it the whiskey crest
Restless eyes cannot sleep now, they need no rest
Desperate the heart to go back in dream so fresh
It has been raining since that sunset ages ago
Cold frost on the feet reminds him of the fatal blow

Nothing felt anymore which could raise the hair
This great grey cloud which sheds nothing to share
He wanders lost, a nomad in the harsh reality
Falls in love with the melancholic creativity
When did he last saw the full moon, he wonders
All the courage stored in guts now spilled, he runs

Shaking inside the mind's blanket ever shrinking
He wishes sometimes to be released from everything
Sleep evades his shredded soul, a routine sin to please
Want to play the dreamcatcher, there he finds peace
Playing hide & seek with Alice in the rabbit hole
She will get out of it, He knows, his losing role

Abstract fluids

The phone keeps ringing nonchalantly
The voice flowed to his ears smoothly
Heart so weak yet a mind full of hubris
Mistakes splattered on the wall crease
Now he floats to the roof like a balloon
The plaster gives in and furnitures croon
He falls jaw flat on the floor so wet
All the treasure now flown out of the chest

Strange times are raining upon the life
Streets of the heart sliced through knife
Questions so profound worries the mind
Imaginary river reign in the eyes so kind
The new feather interests the king of flock
With her he can drink venom break rock
But the feather possesses past allegiance
All king does is lose all the trust and friends

Profanity is not the need of this dark time
Lets move with the moonlight on chime
The golden liquid so slippery it gives peace
Habit it becomes another one of soul piece
The god you believe has no set of laws
Hedonism is the way to go sing crows
The words one see and read hold nothing
Only what the mind is filled up, the thing

They sold me on the devil's credit money
Told me I make everyone's mind phony
I just laugh at them, they cannot understand
I just give the push, only thy heart command
I bend myself for her love, so not pretty
Falling in the deep dark pit was my destiny
Now he learns the lesson of life so cruel
No one belongs to you, free will so brutal

The World After

Keep your pen flowing and paper drinking
Envision a world far away from thinking
Where the ropes of morality are limitless
And all of us dance on the melting floor
Let us all swim in the pool of fantasy lore
Unknown our whereabouts to the kingdom
Where heaven and earth as one blossom

Rivers of whiskey flow and look so serene
And our temples have no god to make scene
The middle earth has no bridge paved to it
Just a river wishkah to drink up the insane
Grass when melted to black gives me peace
Limbs I cannot move, toes numb as trees
This land knows no boundations, truth free

Sniffing up the golden embers of sunlight
Along with feeling that raindrop on the mud
We stroll together into an event of lifetime
Where the souls converge into their prime
Free from all the shackles engraved on us
Now they finally meet their ownselves

The long highway here has no sharp bends
Surrounded by ethereal beauty and friends
This journey knows no end we joyously sing
Regrets all going down the drain swimming
Jumping beyond the ring of fire with a smirk
Gulping down the thread which holds brisk

No hearts can be broken in this universe
No blood could be shed without the bouts
She walks down the cloud like an angel
So pretty and trusting, white as a true pearl
Whispering gently the soft winds in my ear
You've paid for your sins, live without fear
You will finally meet her six feets below mud
Your heart will find the closure in this flood

Lift me higher, Bury deeper.

Living a life of solitude under the rainy sun
Lying on this barren land I could not shun
That face glistening with hard earned sweat
It has gotten black from the dust laden wind
Walking through the dark alley, head weary
Lit up by plethora of thoughts so fiery

Nothing in the world is of interest anymore
This gaping hole I've been carrying so long
Soul searching is the titanic withered away
Trapped in mind's island such a thorny bay
Days are the sand hourglass so tricky
A thousand moments spent feeling empty
Release me from this cruel dormant volcano
Don't really like the stale air blowing so slow

Standing in the front of this melting mirror
I only see a troubled face, imagine wrinkles
I so long for the yesterday, where I'm happy
But was that ever the case, perennial crazy
Mind overdosed with an imaginary acid
Release me from this boiling pot with no lid
Hold me now and provide me a shoulder
the one which has no other contender

The smiles reach wide only in the camera
Disease has bruised and battered the shell
Rolled in a paper it just smokes me well
Blood around fingers bursts the dam open
Boredom is all around, nothing to blend in
All I can think of is just nothing good
Mechanical life, sit all day and just brood
Standing on the lane which is moving itself
No control on thoughts or actions or belief

The night drinks up on my whiskey breath
she tenders up and provides me a sheath
She says just keep walking on this path
Wretched road towards your oblivion dance
Live on your own my favorite shaman child
Your earth will soon stop revolving so wild
Buried with your words deep inside you
Time will come when you find peace inside
Like the last time you were alone and cried

Muddled bubbles

Through the hollow sunken eyes
Deep down buried in gold debris
He could not discriminate the shade
Whole world in Grey, a true charade

Good or bad, right or wrong, white or black
Nothing really matters on the heart's track
Counting the seconds in drops he drinks
Confused he is, too frayed for a shrink

These words are all he got left in his tricks
Words which are eternal, they never sink
Too pure were his maneuvers of love
He forgot to save some for his own dove

Like a grapevine overflowing the love
Never trust the returns this world shove
This broke his soul, essence lost forever
Feel though he must, whenever wherever

Does he feel the same for everyone here
Or has the feel sunk, does he not care?
Attention from the beauty makes him weak
The next second knows not what he seeks

Climb Hills, drink rivers, fight the nightmares
This fool will stomp over all the ugly stairs
Just never ask it to love with so ferocity
A battle he lost, never to return to this city

He hates you all

People with their non stop chatter
Talking bout things which dont matter
Do they ever stop and realize the truth
That all the talks are nothing but mirage
One day it will end the same way
Beneath the dirt or atop a fiery bed

All this laughter makes me ponder again
Am I living it wrong? No smile to gain
Why do I feel like a stranger with them
When will the smile reach the eye brim
Tragic they claim is the word for me
And I say isn't the world just a sad tree
Where the fruits rot and break you inside
The spark is missing in the dark side

Faces however beautiful seem all ugly
Where is this hate coming from in me
I question and my mind laughs the sadist
But that thing it cries deep inside the chest
It reminds me the way I was at a time
When laughs flew and sweeter was chime
I will not fall into this trap again I promise
The devils on the shoulder gently kiss
This is the rabbit hole, one can't escape
I need salvation, save me in the cave.

This bottle in my hand is a true friend
She never leaves me and stays till end
Those books which entice me so much
I smell the pages which make my crutch
Oh the stories they seem so lively and real
Then a sudden jolt to jaw, back from veil
There is this monster inside me clawing
To make him happy I feed him my feeling

This unrealistic happiness is not for me
Have forgotten the times when I felt free
The secrets are out in the pandora box
No one has the key, there is no lock
Only a ray of light creeps from inside
Eyes habitual of dark cannot yet decide
Fighting with your own mind so weary
Survive says the box in chest so teary

Eyes don't shut as needles prick the mind
All this hate consuming him like a wine
Bolted are the doors leading to salvation
Train has long said goodbye to station
Situations arose behind the closed door
Even the trusted eyes could not decipher
One day it will help him disintegrate
Back to the dust he was, a drop of nothing.

Girl in the Yellow Jacket

Today when I sit with the mountains
Sipping my cold as her heart beer
I remember the yellow jacket
Which wore the girl like a smile
The smile which always got the better of me
Now the reality my rival mocks me
She thinks too much of love let me down
I question what else should I have sown
If not the seeds of eternity together
A woman's mind I failed to understand
Soul created below robert plant said
Could not agree more my eyes read

That yellow jacket was the most loved
as the last drop of illusion I dread
Why did it happen to me I screamed
3000 days of summer dropped dead
This never ending highway luring me
To undergo a journey unknown
Finding peace in chaos the mind
Almost been a month since the ice froze
Still girl in yellow jacket could not close

Then you go to the parties with mood up
Knowing that the smiles they flash
They mean nothing but plain crass
Their long stares I see as sympathy
Ignorance I feign to this atrocity
Few souls who touched you
In this swarm of known strangers
But they too have changed a lot
Embarrassed they seem for you
Their faces hide the urge to flee
Its all in the eyes for drunk mind to see

That girl in yellow jacket doesn't leave
One track mind and liver on a spree
Yes you find souls who can understand
But the stomped heart now cowers
As it fears that they also might leave soon
Bruised ego fights the easily trusting heart
the long talks which have much subtext
Heart wants to open up and pent it out
Still the words they just wont come out
Do the new souls laugh and take fun of you
So much uncertainty and full of doubts

The next morning I wait for the sound
Greetings say the cruel cold light
Should I call or not is the dilemma
Rise above the dire times the song says
Images of past on loop plays
Presence of screeching silence so loud
Lonely mind in room of stranger crowd
Pathetic hope soars at a message
Next moment it remembers the wreckage
If its a fool's errand I keep doing it
How to stop is not a question seem fit

And then you take the drops of potion
Thinking things will get set to motion
Soul with the spirit of autumn comes
Its another season and it will too leave
Filling them up with your whole heart
All the while hoping it heals your part
Mistake or not this mind will never know
Trust the heart which could not be owned
Free will oh it has played the joke on me
Receiving end of this old rotten tree
Like the song which always on loop
And is out of mind when the record broke

It's the day when I'm roaming in her city
Empty chairs we used to fill seem to pity
This boy needs no sympathy, an answer
Why the yellow jacket made him suffer
The places they seem to mock the irony
We have seen all this so nevermind honey
That floral pattern which changed hands
Another girl has it now, my heart lands
Again and again I fail to understand
Why yellow jacket could not make amends

As I leave the road behind me I glance back
I have to chance a look that she is there
No we cannot be strangers such is our bond
I feel ashamed that I will fall for the con
One call to my name and I will be no wise
I have always been a child in man's body
Past, present, future look so much foggy
This chapter will always be missing pages
Cannot swing forward its been ages
I wish that you can't see my troubled mind
Smiling you maybe wherever in peace
That yellow jacket oh so special to me
I hope against hope to let it return to me.

Requiem Mass in HeartLand

Days keep turning to nights
Color of the spirit darkening
Doors and windows all close
Happy monsters go away, I chose

People seem strange parasites
Faces beautiful but no respite
Solitude is what heart seeks
Love goes waste, soul reeks

Life is a comma not period
Why hearts then stop at one
No forward from this point of test
Easy for some, impossible for rest

Heart too heavy to swim
in this ocean full of betrayal
Squirming it just wants to end
World not ready to let it vent

Blame not to be played a game
Some just have no jar of shame
The poor boy takes a bad name
No this heart cannot be tamed

Our moon in the dark sky
daring to look him in the eye
Oh don't you tell him the truth
the mirror imagining the shoot

Crackling bottles and guitar tunes
not enough as he needs love
Wonders if the morning will ever come
deceptive night just never ends

Nothing left to lose it seems
fragile mind playing tricks in dreams
Oh the heartsick, they don't heal
Stop this, cure me, give me feel.

PUPPET

Pulled strings a way of life
harsh truth in the open
calling the hand of support
damsel in distress the calling card

Then you fall for the drama
on which the curtains never fall
Heart unaware of the strings
pulled by whimsical bearings

Veins bursting with feelings
can't be seen by the opaque heart
words that hurt soul never do part
mind pounding with anger defeated

Lost in the false ocean of eyes
Walking a line thinking all is mine
Never did the poor realize
the hidden hand making the choice

A losing heart doesn't give up
flaring up like a puppy in hope
ignoring the inner voice of sanity
foretelling the calamity

Keep revering the good times
like the early morning sun
but it never rose this time
swallowed by the night of crime

Trust lost in the cruel world
heart learns not to invest
dividends bloating the delicate walls
to burst it wants but just crawls