Sometimes all we are is a mythical assumption of other's mind, situations when all we are is some conjured up image in their mind. A figment of their limited imagination.A self generated work of a mind in vacuum for so long that it starts a train of thoughts with no end in sight.
His bucket maybe brimming up with so much assured love yet her's could be a glass of fear that it could be love after all.All we see is what we are, all we want to believe is we are special, all we want is that minuscule tick of attention from that special being.
We want to fly high and then we withhold our flight to swim deep, there lies our comfort in peace of a chaotic soul.Pleasure in mistakes, embarrassment in our achievements, rebellious in our caged desires, love in lust or lust in love, are we forever bemused.
This perpetual limbo of confusion takes birth from our very originating trait of curiosity.
For everything, for each new experience that demolishes a withstanding notion binding us mentally as a stagnant water drop on the surface of a puddle.
This implies equally of how we think of people surrounding us. For each of them we have a dictionary of adjectives, words that are as hollow as they sound when compared to their true nature.
Man is judgmental instinctively, many could disagree with me and then think 'wow what an arrogant prick full of pretentious thoughts'. Again slight judgement without getting to the bottom of the lake. So one just cannot fight this fight. Not even me.
So confusion precedes judgement, to conceal our inability to understand someone or something we tend to slide down the rope that seems most friendly.Another compartment that confusion opens up in our brilliant mind is fear. High and mighty have fallen from grace in clout of this unhinged door. Afraid of the unknown, fear of the palpable truth, of delusions and allusions.
Greatest fear these days is of failure to be a great memory for others. For this, one puts in their soul and body in line to achieve something so superficial that regret never seeps in until it's too late. You never did anything to be memorable for you.
Another fear that hangs heavy on our mind is losing the people we never owned in the first place. We fear death to take them away from us, we grow close only to retreat sometimes thinking that if the other loses interest we might not be able to protect our naked emotions. We never give them a chance sometimes to show us that they mean eternal sunshine.
Fear and confusion amalgamate and give rise to a totally new monster named self doubt. If you were to ask me who is the undisputed champion in carrying a baggage of flooding self deprecating thoughts, I would give you my name. To battle all that raging switch of on and off self belief, a true backup is needed.
Unflinching, uncompromising, accountable state of mind which knows when to imbibe and when to divulge is required. Hands are always there to hold onto, only the mind needs to develop enough trust to make the unbreakable vow to none but ourselves.
I have always believed life to be a cycle of birth and rebirths within ourselves. With each passing moment we are getting to realize that when it comes to the big blueprint of our life's map, the minute, almost negligible things have never mattered.
A personal revolution to kill all that is holding us back, to kill all the alien concepts that make us not who we are but what society wants us to be, to recognize our mettle, is mandatory.
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