Ring of Latent Fire

Every precarious moment I indulge myself
Thinking of your presence or the lack of it
I visit the mirror to gauge the staring face
I see veins clawing their way out of my forehead, begging and praying to be loose
Bursting to finally reveal you, my obsession, my self proclaimed possession
You, my deepest secret. My untold desire.

One which I shoveled my skin so deep
to hide into, one which even evisceration fails to discover, one which got so latent that it hid itself from me, one which I pretended didn't bother me, a lie which morphed to unwavering belief.

You know, I feel a cycle of forlorn calm and waves of molten chest forcing it's way out to spew.
And I speak, barely though; in squeaks of cowardice, I tell a story of my love which cannot even pronounce itself, such woebegone bravery.

This was my gift and certainly my creation
I am happy in sporadic spurts, the slopes leading down are too steep until I think,
Of your unrepentant presence in my mind
Or the lack of it.